quotidian

Thank you card

2006-03-30T16:50:00.000+01:00

Fairy
Originally uploaded by mablog.

The Thank you card I made for my Mum to say thanks for everything she's done for me while I've been pregnant. I posted it today and can't wait to get the phone call that says she's recieved it!

Start of the nursery

2006-03-20T09:53:00.000Z

nursery
Originally uploaded by mablog.

This is to show you just how small the nursery is. This was after quite a lot of work to paint it and put down a laminate floor. C's decided to never, ever, ever do a laminate floor again after this!

The move

2006-03-09T13:40:00.000Z

I think I'm all set for the move now. I may tweak the template a little more but I'm pretty happy with things over at mablog.co.uk. So this will probably be the last post here!

First parent class

2006-03-03T14:13:00.000Z

We had our first parent class last night. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, most of the people were my age, I certainly wasn't the oldest there. We had a chat with another couple and I'm hoping to get to know some of the others better next time. We're all due about the same time (obviously) so I couldn't help but compare bumps, mine definitely isn't the biggest! We talked about our hopes and fears, and the fact it would hurt but many, many women go on to have more than 1 so it can't be all that bad - I pointed out I was a only child :) I'm looking forward to next weeks class but I hope we cover stuff that's more useful. The big question I have at the moment is baby bedding... what do they need? I've got lots of fitted sheets but not much else so far.

My perfect major

2006-02-22T12:22:00.000Z

You scored as Biology. You should be a Biology major! You are passionate about the sciences, and you enjoy studying cell growth and evolutionary concepts which enable living organisms to survive. Pursue that!

Biology

100%

Psychology

100%

Sociology

100%

Philosophy

83%

Anthropology

83%

Mathematics

75%

Chemistry

67%

Art

67%

Linguistics

67%

English

67%

Engineering

58%

Journalism

50%

Theater

42%

Dance

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Neglect

2006-02-16T12:17:00.000Z

I feel like I'm neglecting blogging at the moment... I'm not updating regularly and I'm not commenting on other peoples blogs. I do intend to sort this out. In my defence work is v.busy at the moment and when I get home I'm either too tired to turn on the PC or we're decorating - the hall's nearly finished... and the bookcases are so close to having somewhere to live! I've bought a domain name and got some hosting space, so I'm hoping to get that up and running soon. How do you pick a domain name that suits you? and is free! I've gone for mablog.co.uk - don't look yet there's nothing there. C always calls me 'ma, as in Em"ma" and it can also be ma as in my. So it works. I'm very excited about getting my own space to play with. I can add pages, and do stuff - if I ever find the time!

Is it good when the midwife says "wow"

2006-02-03T14:30:00.000Z

My midwifes appointment was yesterday - 28 week check up. I'm now 27w4d... which is amazing to me, so close and yet so far! Everything's fine, blood pressure on the low side but normal for me, all my blood results came back ok. No syphilis for me to worry about... although I wasn't until they mentioned it. She took some more blood to check my iron levels and antibodies again and then had me lay on the couch to measure my uterus and listen to the heartbeat. Apparently "wow, that's a big baby"... which didn't reassure me as much as I guess it should have done. She says I've not put on much fat and the bump is "all baby" it's head down, happy to be there (according to the heartbeat), and big. Which is nice.

My thoughts on pregnancy (today)

2006-02-01T11:32:00.000Z

The weird thing is all the way through this my feelings have changed. I didn't really enjoy the first three months, at all. I wasn't hugely sick, but I didn't feel well most of the time, and I was tired a lot. But even now I'm feeling nostalgic about it and even broody, and I've not had the baby yet!! One of the guys in my office has just announced his wife is pregnant, 6 weeks. We've been exchanging stories and I've shared a few internet links. I've really enjoyed the middle three months, being able to do things and go out, not feeling too tired but still being able to feel the baby move inside me is amazing. I'm really going to miss being pregnant - although I'm sure I wont be saying that in a few months. I wasn't aware how much of a total body experience it is. There isn't one part unaffected, even your eyesight is supposed to get worse! I've certainly noticed a difference in my brain and concentration. But it's everything... hair, arms, legs... they're all affected in some way or other. It's like living a science experiment - what will change this week! I'm loving it though. Every minute, even when I'm tired and sick. It feels like so long to go, and yet it's terrifyingly close to being over... three more months.

I knew it'd be fine

2006-01-24T14:17:00.000Z

I think I'm going to be one of those worrying mums, last night the baby started kicking as strongly as ever - and all day today it's been trying to break out! I'm sure it's normal to worry, at least I hope it is. I can't wait to have the baby here though - I can't believe I've got to wait three more months, I'm not even in the third trimestre yet - I think that's next week. I'm a long way from holding a baby in my arms. I've got a list together of everything we should need for the baby, mum and I are planning to go shopping and get everything on the 10th February, I can't wait!

Should I be worried?

2006-01-23T16:44:00.000Z

I'm at 26 weeks now which is fantastic. However I'm a little... worried. Over the last couple of days I've not felt the baby move anything like as much as I normally would. And what I do feel isn't as strong. That said I think today I've felt it at least once and hour, probably more but still really little kicks rather than like it's trying to get out - which I'm used to. Is this something to be worried about? Or is it most likely it's just shifted position and I can't feel it as strongly...

Green eggs and ham

2006-01-12T15:54:00.000Z

I'm sure this is a great breakthrough for something. But all I can think is "I would not eat them on a train"! Taiwan breeds fluorescent green pig - Science - MSNBC.com

Four things meme

2006-01-11T16:13:00.000Z

From a link on Wonder Mom's site. Four Jobs You’ve Had in Your Life: 1. Strawberry Picker (hated it... spiders, don't talk to me about spiders!) 2. Box Packer (not too bad) 3. Internet Developer 4. Programmer (ok, the last two are the same, I've not had too many jobs. Two different companies though) Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over: 1. Withnail and I (I love it, wonderful British humour) 2. The Incredibles (We watch this all the time) 3. James Bond films (no idea why though) 4. um. I'm not sure... Four Places You’ve Lived: 1. My parents, which I go back to and stay at regularly. 2. Really nasty student house... with mould on the walls and everything! 3. Little one bedroom flat in the centre of town, my first owned home which I loved. 4. My lovely, three bed home with my DH, bunnies and bob the fish. Four Websites You Visit Daily: 1. Bloglines 2. BBC 3. Wapsi Square 4. mail2web to check personal emails... Four TV Shows You Love To Watch: 1. Friends 2. Judge Judy (though I'm ashamed to admit it!) 3. What the ** did for us (education show on UK tv about Romans, Stuarts etc.) 4. I'm not sure, we don't watch much tv. Four of Your Favorite Foods: 1. Pizza 2. Fruit Cake 3. Pasta with fresh veg 4. ice cream Four Albums You Can’t Live Without (at least for the moment): This changes all the time. But the ones in my car right now are 1. KT Tunstall 2. The Bravery 3. The Coral 4. Athlete Four Places You’d Rather Be: 1. At home, in bed 2. In the Lake District 3. Shopping, with lots of money to spend 4. pretty much anywhere but at work!

Week 24

2006-01-06T11:56:00.000Z

I can't believe I'm nearly at 24 weeks, I've tried to work it out but it gets very complicated. I think I'm 24 weeks on Monday, which apparently is the age at which we become "viable" although survival rates seem to be somewhere between 1/5 and 85% depending on which book I read! I'm hoping to be able to keep it in a little longer though - another 16 weeks would be good! We had a very good Christmas with lots of eating and no drinking :o(. I didn't miss it too much really, and it was nice to be able to drive everywhere. I got lots of cool things including a new computer, which I still need to set up with all my work stuff, and a lovely necklace as well as CD's and DVD's!! C spent far too much money on me, he says it's because it's the first year for a while he's been able to. I felt really guilty though and ended up buying him an iPod Nano on New Years Eve. I should really have got him one for Christmas as he's wanted one for ages. We had a fairly relaxing holiday, although we did find time to paint the nursery and put laminate flooring down. Which was very exciting! We chose a bright yellow colour which looks almost gold. I said we could put all the boxes back in once it was done but it looks so nice now I don't want to. I've not chosen a border, curtains or a lampshade for it yet. Plenty of time to shop around though. Everyone at work has commented on how big my bumps got over Christmas, I'm not sure if it's baby or mince pies though! Probably a combination of the two.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-23T09:22:00.000Z

It's finally my last day at work before Christmas - only two more sleeps! I think everything is prepared... we wrapped presents on Wednesday night while watching The Muppets Christmas Carol, which I love and C tolerates. I'd love to make that part of our Christmas routine, but I think we'll have to be a little more organised next year with the little one about. At the moment all I can do is try and compare what this year will be like to next year... We won't be able to do that, but this will be much more fun. I'm very excited by it all. If all goes well the baby will be nearly 8 months old, so aware of things and crawling? It'll make everything much more fun. I can't wait to have three stockings by the fire. I'm getting on better with the pregnancy, in fact I think I'm enjoying it. I'm still waking up every hour during the night with the itchy feet, but I'm not feeling as tired - must be getting used to it. I'm quite sad that I wont be able to enjoy drinking at Christmas, but I'm not a huge drinker anyway. The cheese is the worst thing, how can you have Christmas without Stilton!! I'm getting bigger by the day, had to let another button out on my maternity pants yesterday, I'll have to take another pic soon so we've got a record of me growing! Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. See you all in 2006!

Follow up on Vitamin K

2005-12-14T15:03:00.000Z

I've decided to go for the vitamin K option. I was completely against it at first, mainly because of the perhaps misguided opinion that if the baby needed it it'd be in my breast milk. After reading this article on Vitamin K What, Why and When I've changed my mind. The place I'm going to offers three (or poss. 4) doses of vitamin K orally over the first few weeks. Which looks like being a lot safer than the intra-muscular one offered by other places. I can't see a reason against doing it, although I will probably talk it over with my midwife to follow up my decision. Now that's sorted I can go back to thinking of baby names!!

Which Tarot Card

2005-12-12T15:29:00.000Z

I don't normally post these, but I loved the answer so much I had to. How perfect is this!
You are the Universe card, sometimes called the
World card. The Universe is the complete,
perfect whole. The spiritual path has come to
an end and enlightenment is reached. Events
have reached completion. The different facets
of your life are well-integrated and
harmoniously balanced. This is an ideal state
in which to rest and feel the true state of
your vibrant physical being. Your creative
potential is maximized and you have achieved
goals that you have set for yourself in the
past. After enjoying the pleasure of this
state, a new cycle can begin with new
challenges and triumphs that will keep you
feeling alive and keep building on the
foundations you have planted thus far. Image
from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

20 weeks and a scan

2005-12-12T14:13:00.000Z

All went well at the scan, the baby had it's head very low down and she had a little trouble getting pictures, we didn't find out as we've agreed that we want that moment when the baby is born. I think we'll choose to find out ourselves rather than being told. We got a lovely profile picture of the baby's face with nose and pouty mouth. The nurse took loads of pics of all the organs, legs, feet, arms, etc. Everything looks ok apparently and it was very strange seeing the little heart beating properly. She spent a long time doing the heart as he was lying wrong for the pic and wouldn't move - very awkward apparently. They sent me for a wee to see if that shifted him and got an ok pic after that. His (I seem to be calling it him as it sounds better than it!) head is measuring at exactly right for 20 weeks and his legs are right at the top of the grey - so he's long apparently! We heard the heartbeat for the first time which was amazing, I'm pleased I asked. I didn't realise till afterwards how nervous I was, I really don't know what I would have done if anything had been wrong. The baby's been wriggling all weekend, I'm not sure if I'm more aware of the movement now or if being poked about annoyed him! It's wonderful, I'm really enjoying being pregnant at the moment - despite the itching, which wakes me up at night. I've been advised to see my doctor about that one. I'm not sure if I'm going to scan in the pic of the baby, it doesn't seem right yet. Maybe I'm just superstitious.

Boy or Girl

2005-12-05T14:02:00.000Z

I really want to know if it's a boy or a girl, so while I don't know... I'm going to try out all the old wives tales I can find! See which work ;o) Mum and me tried the wedding ring on string test today and that said it was a boy - three times out of three. Although we started higher up my belly and it said girl... so it may be twins! The ancient Chinese conception chart says it's a boy, and looking at the dates that predicted I would be a girl. I've been told I'm carrying quite high so that would indicate a girl. I've read that mixing my urine with Drano will tell me, but I'm not sure what Drano is... and I'm not trying that anyway! I've not had a reading of the heartbeat so I can't do that one either. I'm craving more salty things (lots of chips with salt and vinegar and crisps too), so that should indicate a boy. I've done the test at childbirth.org which gives me a 59% chance of having a girl. I'm not sure what I think it's going to be, that differs. I do know that whatever it is I'm going to be very, very happy.

19 Weeks

2005-12-05T11:08:00.000Z

I'm now 19 weeks and 3 days. My scan is booked for 12.30 on Thursday and I'm HUGELY excited about it. I've been looking at pics taken from other 20 week scans and I just can't wait. We've not completely decided whether to find out the sex. I think I want to know, C doesn't want to know at all. I think as a compromise (of sorts) we'll find out but not tell anyone, that way it's a secret between the two of us. I'm feeling 100% better, I've not been ill at all for ages (touch wood) and have lots of energy. This is the time we should be working on the nursery, but unfortunately until some other work has been done in the house it's still full of boxes. There's not too much to do in there, the radiator needs changing, the door re-hanging to open another way, the floor needs laying (I'm going for laminate for ease of cleaning), the walls need painting, we need to decide on a colour, curtains, rugs, furniture etc... shelves and pictures need putting up - pictures need buying... actually there's a lot to do. But I'm sure we'll be fine. We also haven't bought anything, at all. I'm not sure when I'll feel comfortable shopping for the baby, possibly after Christmas, I know we've got a long time to do all this stuff (again, touch wood!). We went away at the weekend, the two of us and the dog to the lake district, which is our favourite place in England. It was nice to be away, and be able to relax. The hotel was on a fill though which I found difficult when tired, I think I need to start swimming soon as I'm pretty unfit - and I'm sure I'll need to be as fit as possible to get through the birth.

Baby brain and bridesmaids

2005-11-28T12:00:00.000Z

I had an interesting conversation with C over the weekend. Apparently I'm getting more forgetful. I often ask him the same question several times without realising, which is news to me. I have noticed I have a problem with words (more so than normal) he says it's been getting worse for a couple of weeks now. I'll say a word in a conversation thinking one thing but it'll be something completely different. This morning I asked if I could take one of his carrots to work, and I meant banana. I knew I'd said something odd from the look on his face. We saw some friends over the weekend, she's been one of my best friends since the age of about 4. She was bridesmaid at my wedding last year. But due to one thing or another we've not seen each other since then. I didn't want to tell her about the pregnancy over the phone, or by text! So I kept it a surprise. She guessed instantly and said she'd been thinking I might be as soon as we arranged to visit. I knew she would as she guessed that C and I were engaged when we went to tell them that. Anyway, she's getting married next August, and has asked me to be a bridesmaid! I'm so excited as I've never done it before and figured I never would. I'm a little nervous though as it's only three months after my due date... so I'll really have to work at getting the weight off. Something to aim for though I guess. My parents and C will be going to the wedding so if the baby is invited (which I'm sure it will be) there will be plenty of people to help out. Oh and it's just started snowing here, which is VERY exciting... I've called mum and C already to share the news.

pic of the bump

2005-11-24T21:22:00.000Z

So this is me... I didn't know whether to post this, and I may well take it down tomorrow. But this was the bump about two weeks ago... it's bigger now!

To the makers of maternity clothes

2005-11-23T15:10:00.000Z

Please, when you're making trousers don't make it unnecessarily difficult to undo them... I sometimes don't get a lot of warning and I really don't want to be messing round with lots of buttons and ties. That is all.

Week 18

2005-11-22T11:39:00.000Z

I think... I'm sort of getting the hang of the weeks thing. I was 17 weeks on Friday, which means I'm in week 18. This week apparently Pip will grow from 5 to 5 1/2 inches according to some sites or up to 8.1 inches according to another! I guess it varies from baby to baby. I know it's too early to call it a baby but I'm not comfortable with foetus. My belly is measuring in at 38 inches now. I made C measure his and he's not at all happy, as of last night he's on a diet! Which is good as I may be able to persuade him to come swimming with me. It's starting to move more now, I can usually get at least one movement a day that I know is the baby in there. It's nice to have that reassurance that everything's ok. I'm sure it'll be a pain later when I can't sleep but for now it's fantastic. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with childbirth, it's been on my mind a lot recently, more so today since I woke up with cramp in my leg and then woke C up with my moaning... it really hurt. If I can't cope with that there's no way I'm going to be able to have a baby without an epidural! Is there? I'm the biggest wimp in the world, and I worry that my worrying about the pain will hold things up... It's December next week, which means I'll be 4 months pregnant... five full months away from the big day! I'm excited and scared, and worried as nothing at all is being done in the house to get ready for another person!

Week 17

2005-11-15T16:18:00.000Z

So I was 16 weeks last Friday which makes this week 17. The week in which all my morning sickness will disappear and I'll start to bloom and grow. If you believe the books. I am feeling much better, still tired but able to eat and drink, and get out of bed. A big improvement over last week! My belly is now 37 inches, I'm not sure what it started at, but less than that! According to "your baby this week" sites, this is the week that fat starts to form, so that's nice. I'm enjoying things this week, where I definitely wasn't last week. I've started to feel things I could convince myself are movements... although it may just be a rumbling belly. I seem to have started treating the pregnancy as an excuse to eat lots, which can't be a good thing. I've also not started swimming yet which is really bad. I will try harder... I will buy a nice swimming costume, shave my legs and get active! Also, giving up chocolate fudge cake wouldn't be a bad thing either. The baby doesn't not "need" it... no matter how much I do!

So very tired

2005-11-08T12:06:00.000Z

I'm trying to come up with a post about choiced in child birth and later. But at the moment I'm feeling very, very tired and sick and pretty much awful. So I'm not going to bother. I was hoping to leave work early but I have 50 million jobs to do. It's just not fair! Oh plus I'm feeling weepy, so just ignore me. *sniff*

Administration of Vitamin K to Newborns

2005-11-04T11:28:00.000Z

I've been looking into this as it's one of the options on the birthplan I've got to fill in. They say it's up to us whether we do it or not, but no one I've spoken to seems to know why you'd choose to or be against it. So good old Internet to the rescue. Doctor Google has come up with a couple of good pages such as Gentle Birth which are against it. Does anyone have any strong oppinions on this one? Does it even matter?

Wishes are wonderful things

2005-11-01T15:16:00.000Z

I've set up an Amazon wishlist to remind myself of books and toys I want to buy before the baby gets here. The amazon.co.uk site isn't as good as the .com as it's not got nearly as many toys on there. The range of books is good though, and it's got Lamaze stuff on there which I adore. I want to get some Baby Einstien DVD's and CD's too but I don't know which to get for a newborn. If anyone's got any suggestions of what I should add or remove from the list let me know - I'm in the dark over here! my wishlist

First Midwifes Appointment - and a bump.

2005-10-25T16:45:00.000+01:00

The appointment went well. I'd lost the paper with the time on it and thought it was 9.45, I got there at 9.30 and a few minutes later a very flustered looking midwife came out and apologised for being so late, apparently I was supposed to be in at 9.15 - so it worked out quite well for both of us! My midwife unit is a place called Sure Start, it's a government run thing designed to make sure that children from poorer backgrounds get a good start in life. I'm quite lucky as until a few years ago my street wasn't considered eligible for this and I'd have had to go miles to the midwifes - now I'm allowed to go there. C was v.mean and kept asking if the place would be full of pregnant 13 year olds, I didn't see any. The appointment was very long, about an hour and three quarters. I had my blood pressure taken and three lots of blood drawn, I also had to give a urine sample. There were a LOT of forms to fill in. And we filled in some spaces on my record. A few weeks ago I was sent a huge document asking loads of questions and with room to fill things in through the pregnancy - it's quite exciting. I'd filled in as much as I could, previous pregnancies, medical conditions, family history and stuff. She went through everything and filled more bits in, made notes and took a copy. Then I had forms on smoking, what information I wanted, my details, whether I'd been beaten by C, depression, all sorts of things. They also told me about groups - parenting class and mums club. They don't run relaxation classes but there is one in a nearby town I can visit - which I will! I had to make the choice of where I wanted to give birth, this isn't set in stone at the moment but I went for the midwife led unit, it sounds nicer - birthing pools, experience and aromatherapy. But no doctors or anesthesiologists - so no epidural... Big decision. I'm not sure I can cope with pain all that well - sure I'll be begging for an epidural before too long into it. We get to go for a look round after the next scan, which is booked for 8th Dec. I'll give it some thought before then and try to be brave. In other news my morning sickness has really come into it's own. I've been awful with it for the last week. Driving up to Inverness was a nightmare, and driving back even worse. We didn't make it back last night as we'd planned due to a combination of really bad weather and me having to keep stopping, so we stopped another night away on the way back and continued the journey again today. I will not be planning a long road trip anytime in the near future - after the one this weekend of course... I seem to have come back from Scotland with a bump, it's only little at the moment but enough to drive me into maternity clothes a lot earlier than I thought I'd need them. Luckily there was a H&M in Inverness with a good range of maternity goods. I got two pairs of trousers and three tops for £75, which I didn't think was too bad. I now need to start looking for pants, bras - and more clothes! I will get up courage to post a pic of me and the bump soon.

12 weeks and counting

2005-10-18T16:04:00.000+01:00

I can't believe I'm already three months gone. It's just flown by, ok so I've only known for two months but still! The morning sickness is still here, not as bad as it could be but I'm hoping for that glow and feeling good stuff they're always talking about to kick in soon. I'm also getting headaches, every afternoon since last Thursday - I wouldn't call them migranes but they're getting there. I'm not whinging though, honest, I'm loving every minute of it - and wouldn't change it for the world. I've got a midwifes appointment tomorrow which I'm pretty excited about - it's my first. I don't know if I'll see the same one all the way through but it should be cool anyway. Then I'm away with work till next Tuesday so no updates or blog reading till then. I've had no chance to check my faves for ages, I need an afternoon to sit down and read. Guess that'll have to wait though. I've told my bosses at work I'm expecting and have been given a form to fill in, when I want to start maternity leave, when I'll be due back etc. I'm hoping to start on 3rd April (I'm due May 1st) and may return to work mid September ish. Pay is worked out at 90% for the first 6 weeks then £100 ($174.78) per week for the next 20 weeks. After that I'm entitled to another 26 weeks unpaid leave - which we can't afford right now. If we save up I might be able to afford to stay off work till Christmas though - that'll make the baby 8 months when I go back rather than 5, better for both of us probably.

Got nothing much to say

2005-10-14T17:22:00.000+01:00

But check this link out - it's very funny :o) BBC NEWS | Health | Men bad for women's waistlines

A Meme

2005-10-11T16:21:00.000+01:00

I've seen this on a few peoples blogs, and though I've not actually been tagged with it it sounded interesting so I thought I'd give it a go. Basically you put your name and then "needs" into Google - it's better if you put quotes round the whole thing. So my fave results for "emma needs" are: Emma needs help with Dumbbells (from a boxing site) Emma needs a home (a newspaper re-homing a golden retriever) Emma needs 69 candles (a sample question) Emma neeeds earplugs (a message board) Emma needs a nap (parenting forum - but very true!) and the last one - Emma needs her first Halloween outfit (a blog I'm guessing) I loved that, it was so funny, I'm off now to try it with C, and the bunnies, and anyone else I can think of!

I'm back

2005-10-10T14:54:00.000+01:00

I was off work Weds, Thurs, Fri last week. So I've had no time to blog or check anyone else's blogs. It's amazing how much I've missed it! I came down with an awful cold, made worse by the fact I couldn't really take anything for it. I'm still coughing and have a runny nose but I'm much better. There's so many people in the office it's untrue. There seems to be constant coughing going on! All is well our end, over 11 weeks now. I'm hoping to get a countdown thingy for the site when I'm over 12 weeks.... which is so close now! We're making plans to tell people, family booked in for 29th October - they live a long way away so we're going down to spend a weekend with them. I'm uncomfortable making an announcement though, not sure how I'm going to handle work, which is next week really, can't put that one off much longer. It's very exciting though.

New look

2005-10-04T15:50:00.000+01:00

I thought it was about time to have a new, cheary look. So I got a design from oswd.com and made some changes. I like it because it's colourful... I've not seen how photo's display with it yet though - I might try and find time to sort one out tonight.

Funny old week

2005-10-03T14:03:00.000+01:00

Sorry I've not posted for a little while. I've had a bit of a stressful time. C went to Inverness on Thursday - which is an 8 hour drive from where we live. He drove down on Thursday and planned to do the work and drive back on Friday. Thursday evening I went to the toilet and discovered I was bleeding. Not a lot but enough to get me worried - I figured no blood is good when you're pregnant. I rang NHS Direct, our 24 hour NHS advice line, 20 mins on hold and gave the lady all the details - 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, bleeding a little. They have a system where they can't give advice but pass the details on to a nurse who rings you back - within 3 hours (I rang at 8). While waiting for the nurse to ring I made the decision not to tell C, he'd worry and there was nothing he could do anyway. The nurse rang back at about 9.30, and said it's probably all right but I'll get the on-call doctor in your area to give you a call back. He rang at 10, while I was on the mobile to C. He scared the pants off me by describing what would happen if I was having a miscarriage, then said nothing to worry about, don't need to see you now, go to your docs at 8.30 tomorrow morning and they'll fit you in. I didn't sleep too much on Thursday night. On Friday morning I texted my boss at work (the one who knows) and told them I'd be late in. The receptionist at the docs managed to get me in at 9.15 - before the doc saw her first patient. She was nice and told me she'd try to get me an ultrasound at EPAU Friday or Sat - I said Sat as C was so far away. They didn't have any free on Friday but managed to get me an appointment on Saturday morning at 8.30. I went to work and tried to get on. I'd stopped bleeding by Friday morning, and to be honest I wasn't that worried - I knew there was a chance it'd all gone wrong but also there was a good chance there was nothing to worry about. Chris got home very late on Friday night (Sat morning), and wasn't too impressed when I told him we had to be up in 6 1/3 hours! I woke up at 7.30 and had a glass of orange juice (as per Kristen's advice) and a glass of water. We set off, eventually found a parking space and then sat in the waiting room for about half an hour - till 9. I got told off for having a sip of C's hot chocolate - apparently I should have been told not to drink after 7 in case it was an entopic! They took three vials of blood (one for my blood type which I know anyway!) and sent me back to the waiting room for another 10 mins. The next stop was the midwife - or something. Who had a quick chat, asked if I was ok with internal if needed (yes, of course, if it's needed it's needed!) and sent me back for another ten minute wait. Finally we got into the ultra sound room at about 9.30 - I really needed a pee by then, maybe that's why they make you wait. So the scan, all ok (I'm grinning as I write this), very little person in there 3.5 cm, same size as a lego person (as my boss worked out this morning). There's one in there, and it's in the right place. It was asleep, lying on it's back facing us. We saw it's two little arms, and two little legs, and it's little heart going ten to the dozen. We were both amazed at the clarity of the picture, the photo's they give you don't do it justice, ours is rubbish - can't even make out it's head but it was so clear on the screen. They couldn't see a reason for the bleeding and say that's probably a good thing. They dated me at 10 weeks 1 day - give or take a day, with an estimated due date of 1st May. So I'm 1 day further along than I thought. I can't believe I'm going to have to wait so long to see it again, it was just an amazing experience. I could have spent hours in there looking at the screen and it's little heart.

I'm back, my Pisan adventure

2005-09-27T15:00:00.000+01:00

We had a wonderful holiday, and I was feeling totally relaxed up until about 7.00 this morning when my alarm went off and I had to get up for work. It's not been too bad so far actually - a lot better than I was expecting. Pisa is beautiful, and I'd definitely recommend going there. The field of miracles really is amazing with three beatiful buildings. We climbed the leaning tower - which cost £10 ($18?) it seemed a bit expensive but I guess they spent a lot straightening it out. The view from the top is amazing. But climbing the stairs was very odd with the lean. I wouldn't want to go up there is I was afraid of heights. I love all the florentine stlye houses as well - and the colours are amazing. I will try to post some photos - but they're all on my camera at the moment. It'll take me a while to sort them out as I took over 300. We took the train to Lucca on Saturday which is another beatiful town. It's completely surrounded by huge walls - big enough to drive a car round, although they don't. We walked round the whole town and even managed to climb up the clock tower - over 200 steps. The clock is very strange as it only strikes to 6. So it strikes 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 o'clock in the morning and then for 7 it starts at 1 again. Midday strikes 6. All very odd. I think if we were planning it again we'd probably stay in Florence and spend a day in Lucca and a day in Pisa - Pisa isn't really big enough for a four day holiday.

Greetings from Italy!

2005-09-23T20:35:00.000+01:00

The hotel is wonderful - free internet access, what more can you ask for! The rooms are good and the breakfasts are amazing - so much food. The only slight downside is that it's a long way away from the centre. So we've done a LOT of walking. I'm doing well. Lots of food I can eat, and I'm drinking lots and lots of water. We climbed the leaning tower of Pisa yesterday which was wonderful - lots of steps though - about 300 apparently. My belly was really hurting by the time we got home. I must have walked miles and miles. I had a bit of a funny turn today, we were walking along and I suddenly felt really nausious (which I can't spell!). I was ok that time but a little later I felt the same again and was actually sick in the street! Something I've never even done when drunk! I felt really bad but I had some water to sip - and swill it away. Other than that I've been fine. All going well. Having a wonderful holiday and not at all looking forward to coming home.

Long break

2005-09-20T09:35:00.000+01:00

I'm not going to be able to post for about a week. I've going away with work for a few days and then C, Mum, Dad and me are going to Pisa for a long weekend. I'm very much looking forward to it! Everything's fine with me, and I'm planning to take good care of myself while I'm away - no Italian wine for me.

First Appointments

2005-09-16T16:21:00.000+01:00

I'm so excited today, I got my pack through from the doctors yesterday. It's got a LOT of information about infections and diseases - not fun reading! AIDS, HIV, Chlamydia, Rubella, all apparently not good things. I think they're getting me ready for the vast quantities of blood they'll want to take to make sure I haven't got any of this stuff. Anyway. I've got a 16 page booklet to fill in during my pregnancy - write down my appointments, double check I've thought of everything I want to ask and stuff like that. It's very interesting. I've got to fill the first few pages in before I go - information about me and Chris. My first scan is on 5th October - when I'll be 10 1/2 weeks, guess I wont see too much on that but hearing a heart beat will be a huge relief. My first midwifes appointment is on 19th, I think that's when they ask lots of questions, answer lots of questions and take blood for all the tests. I'm very excited about it. I was beginning to worry that I'd not heard anything from them since I saw them weeks ago. Now it's just a few weeks wait till I get to see/hear my baby for the first time!

Politics

2005-09-15T11:18:00.000+01:00

I don't normally comment on American politics because, well, I'm not American. But this article just makes me so scared and angry. This is obviously an article written by a very, very vehement pro-lifer. That this has been presented in the way of a news story scares me immensely. I have signed up for Google Alerts on Pregnancy - something which obviously interests me a lot at the moment! This was in this morning's update. Throwing babies out with the floodwater The article gloats that "abortion mills" in Louisiana have been destroyed, then just spews on the most amazing language, calling the workers "displaced vermin" saying the deserted clinics wont have been looted as "even murderers and thieves were creeped out at the thought of little bags and buckets of dismembered babies floating around" I just can't understand that this has been written on what looks like a news site. I admit I've not come across it before so it's possibly a site used to publishing this venom. The one funny thing I found in the article talked about the Christian group who must "try to care for mothers who are now twice as vulnerable to abortion as before Katrina". This leaves me with a picture of people stalking the shelters performing unwanted abortions on pregnant women. But I guess that's the image she wanted to leave me with. I'm completely overwhelmed with my feeling about the disaster in Louisiana. Which is why I haven't posted about it. My grief and feeling of complete helplessness in the face of this must only be a fraction of that suffered by people actually there. I can't form thoughts coherent enough to post on the subject.

Still here, and it's making a difference

2005-09-13T17:08:00.000+01:00

I've noticed lots of changes now. My nose is a LOT more sensitive. The kitchen is spotless (for the first time ever) any left over food makes me feel ill. The smell of coffee is awful. But by far the worst is smokers. They stink, all the time. I was very ill yesterday, I had to stay off work and close to the toilet. I think it might have been either a tummy bug. Either that or I over did things on Sunday. We got lots done in the house and I was cutting up spindles for the stairs. Also cleaned the bunnies out, cleaned the kitchen and rang for an hour. Was very tired by night time! Other than yesterday everything's fine though. Still feel queasy a lot. Not eating as much as I usually do and have gone off a lot of the foods I normally like. I'm hoping it's all temporary! C has stocked the kitchen for me with lots of healthy food, veg, smoothies, fresh pasta etc. But mostly I want to eat crisps... that might be normal for me though! I like the fact there's a difference, it let's me know it's all still happening. It seems like such a long time till I see the doctor again. I'm tempted to see my midwife, if my GP has one, at 8 weeks anyway. Most of my books say I should be.

Thanks goodness it's Friday

2005-09-09T13:22:00.000+01:00

I'm very ready for the weekend. I've got lots of work to do at work but not feeling motivated to do it. Haivng said that I had a breakthrough this morning and got something working I've been struggling with for ages. Yay me. We've not got much planned for the weekend. Hoping to get the house tidied, the fridge needs washing out and we may even get round to painting the ceiling in the hall. All terribly exciting stuff! We're also going to a friends 40th Birthday party, which I'm not particularly looking forward to as me and him have a troubled passed. He's got problems with depression and goes through infatuations with people. A few years ago he had a crush on me, I was totally not interested in that sort of relationship with him, while enjoying having him as a friend. He was on Prozac (which he said was because of me) and then he says he took an overdose of paracetamol. I'm still not entirely sure he did as he claimed to take 160 and then just be fine. He didn't go to the doctor at all. It was probably attention getting behaviour. Anyway, since we've moved I've not spoken to him, although we have emailed a few times. He doesn't know where we live - which I'm very happy about. The only reason I'm going to the party is that one of my very good friends is organising it and all my other good friends are going. Plus I guess he deserves to have as many friends as possible at his 40th. I just hope we can put the past behind us!

Still not feeling much

2005-09-08T13:37:00.000+01:00

I don't seem to be having any major changes. I'm usually fine in the morning although by midday I feel a little sick. I've not been sick from it yet - although I had a dream last night that I was, very strange. I'm tired ALL the time, but if you asked C he'd say that was normal. I think my boobs are a little bigger, they're certainly tender. What else... oh I've not had any 'cravings' as such but I really, really want cottage cheese and beetroot. Both things I normally enjoy eating so not totally strange. I was also up at midnight the other night eating mint choc-chip ice cream in bed. C thought it was very funny but fetched it for me without complaining (too much). I don't think that's a sign of anything though - I'd probably do that most nights if I could get away with it!

Stop Global Warming: Virtual March on Washington

2005-09-08T09:17:00.000+01:00

I don't normally link to thinks like this. But this requires so little effort that's it's definitely worth a go. Go sign up for the march - you don't even need to leave your email address. stopglobalwarming.org

Rushed off my feet

2005-09-06T10:12:00.000+01:00

I still don't have time to write anything substantial. Work's so busy at the moment - lots to catch up on after the holiday. We had a very good relaxing time. Although keeping our secret was pretty tricky - lots of excuses for not having a beer! At one point I nearly fainted, and had to rush outside and have a sit down... that raised a few eyebrows! Although as we've been married over a year people are always talking about children round us and asking if I'm pregnant yet. I'm not feeling many effects. I know I should start feeling morning sickness this week (reading my books) but if anything it's got better. Which is a bit of a worry. We're planning when to tell friends and family at the moment. It's all very exciting still!

I'm back

2005-09-05T09:03:00.000+01:00

After a lovely holiday. Will write more later when I've got all my emails checked (could take a while!!). Had a great time and I'm feeling wonderful!

First Doctors Appointment

2005-08-26T10:50:00.000+01:00

I've just been to the doctors, it was a pretty quick visit. She took my blood pressure, weighed and measured me and asked where I wanted to be referred to. Where I live there are two choices. I can go to a small (ish) midwife run place, or to our local hospital where there are also doctors on hand. I've opted for the midwife's at the moment. Two of our friends have given birth there and it's supposed to be nice. I will have an appointment and scan at about 12 weeks - so that's in seven weeks time. Other than that I don't need to see anyone! I might go to look round the two choices before I settle on one, I only get the choice of the midwifes if it's a low risk delivery - because if anything goes wrong they'll have to put me in an ambulance to go to see the doctor! I mentioned the slight bleeding and she said there's nothing she can do at the moment, if it happens again or I still feel anxious I could get a scan at six weeks. I was also worried as I'm having slight cramping, which feels a bit like period pains, although after consulting Dr Google on this one it looks perfectly normal - just my uterus expanding. So nothing to worry about for a while! I'm feeling a bit queasy a lot at the moment. Most people say that making sure you've got a full belly stops morning sickness but I seem to be more ill after eating. I'm ok before I eat anything. This might change with time though, I'm still very, very early into the whole journey! - 4wk5d today.

Is now the time for home improvements?

2005-08-24T12:14:00.000+01:00

We've been planning to build an extension since before we bought the house. We've had no luck at all with builders - one quote was way to high and the other few builders didn't even give us a quote. Someone looked round the house this morning and gave a quote which is pretty much what we thought we'd have to spend. The trouble is it'll wipe out ALL our savings and we'll have to get a loan. Somehow it just doesn't seem sensible to do this now. But if we don't I know it'll never get done. This would give us the perfect kitchen and living space, or we could have a smaller improvement done and have an ok kitchen and small living space - and always be thinking we should have gone for it! Other problems are we're doing this with our neighbour so need her to say yes too - otherwise it'll be more expensive. We also need to get the drawings done ourselves, and the builder can't start work for two months (about when the drawings would be ready anyway). How long do these things take? I don't think I want to be living in a building site when/if.

Due Date

2005-08-23T11:53:00.000+01:00

I forgot to put, at the moment I'm 4wk2d and my due date is around 30th April - using the tools online anyway!

Feeling

2005-08-23T11:32:00.000+01:00

I don't think I've sorted out my feelings yet. I was surprised when I saw the result of the test (I took the other one this morning with the same result!). But I've suspected for a while, strange feeling in my belly and a nauseous feeling throughout the day. C's still in shock. I think we both probably are. We didn't talk about it too much last night, we've ordered some books from Amazon. 20, 001 Baby Names, The Blokes Guide to Pregnancy and Your Pregnancy Bible: The Experts' Guide to the Nine Months of Pregnancy and the First Weeks of Parenthood, they should keep us going for a while. I've made an appointment with my doctor, the first time I've seen this one. There are several doctors at the practice so I've made an appointment with the lady one - might as well for my first check up. That's on Friday. We're telling my parents tomorrow night, turning up unannounced with a bottle of champagne. I've no idea how they're going to take it but I think Mum suspects. I'm sure they'll be great. Other than that we're not telling anyone until the third month. I'm well aware of the dangers of pregnancy so we're going to be cautious. I'm very, very excited though! To be honest I feel guilty about the whole thing. I've spent several years reading infertility blogs, and now here I am falling pregnant in my first month of trying. But then I'm not counting my chickens before they've hatched - I'm a long, long way off a baby!

Oh My!!!

2005-08-22T21:33:00.000+01:00

I just took this... there was another one in the pack that I'll take in the morning to confirm... but that's pretty definite!

No news...

2005-08-22T16:49:00.000+01:00

Is not necessarily bad news. I was due on Sunday... and I thought I'd started on Saturday - a little brown after some hard work (wallpaper stripping!). But now.. nothing. So tonight, if I haven't started before then, I'm going to buy a test. So tomorrow morning, I'll know one way or the other. I'm pretty convinced I'm not, although every unusual feeling has me convinced I am. I'll keep you posted!

Feeling much better

2005-08-18T10:35:00.000+01:00

I'm back at work today, catching up with all my emails has taken till 10:00! I'm feeling better although I'm not 100%. I hate being ill. I guess I'm lucky though as it's been a while since I was last poorly. At the moment I just feel sick, which me being me I'm reading far to much into. It could be a sign of something else... couldn't it? I spent a little time on the computer with C yesterday, our desk is so big he can work on the laptop while I use the big pc. I've researched maternity clothes and pay. I think when the time comes I'll follow Kristin's advice and go to eBay. There's lots of bundles of clothes for quite reasonable prices. These are things I'm not going to be wearing for long so I don't want to spend a fortune. Maternity pay in this country is quite good. I'm entitled to 26 weeks off work so about 6 months. The first 6 weeks are at 90% pay, and the remainder at £100 a week. It's less than I get at the moment, but it'll pay the mortgage and some of the bills at least. I'm hoping that once the maternity leave is over they'll allow me to work part-time. With C being self employed we just can't afford for me to give up work entirely. If I work 3 days a week I'll be able to cover the bills - meaning C's money will be for food and everything else. It'll be tight... but we should manage. In bunny news... we've picked up Blackberry - I don't have any pictures yet but he's a very good looking brown rabbit. We put them in the run with a separator between them and they seemed very interested in each other. Lots of nose sniffing etc. We decided to try them together... and it didn't really work. They fought, a lot. I'm not sure who started it but there was a lot of both their fur over the lawn. We've let them in separate runs since then and they seem ok... I'm not sure when we should try them together again though!

Summer Cold

2005-08-15T16:44:00.000+01:00

I'm suffering from a summer cold at the moment. Not fun at all. I had to come into work today as I'm in charge of back-ups. The other three people are all on holiday. I had a good weekend though as it only developed last night. We're getting somewhere with the hall. All the paint's been stripped off the banisters, all the spindles have been removed and we're starting work on stripping it - to get rid of the old varnish. It's looking lovely. Next weekend Mum and Dad are coming to help us get a lot done. Hopefully. We're also getting a new Rabbit. Holly's been a bit lonely since Hazel died - she craves attention when I go in in the morning, sometimes I feel very guilty for leaving her. So we went to the RSPCA yesterday and found a lovely neutered male, he's called Bandit at the moment but we're going to rename him Blackberry. We need to introduce them slowly - so it's separate hutches for a while and a hope that it's love at first sight.

Car saga

2005-08-12T13:52:00.000+01:00

It looks like my post from Wednesday somehow didn't make it. So a quick re-cap on what happened with the car. I got a new car about three weeks ago, it's a diesel where my old one was petrol. On the way in to work on weds I filled it up... with petrol. We didn't get very far. I had to wait an hour and a half for the AA (Automobile Association) to pick me up and tow me to the place I got the car from. They charged £99 for the privilege as it was a self inflicted incident. The garage said they'd look at it as soon as possible but it was probably going to cost around £200. I had to get a lift home and leave the car with them as it wasn't going to be ready before yesterday. Luckily the training course I was booked to go too was cancelled - there was no way I would have made it otherwise!! I'm just so angry with myself for making a mistake like that. It cost £220 to get it fixed, which we can't really afford at the moment. There's so much other stuff I would have rather spent the money on! Hopefully I've learnt my lesson. I'm certainly not going to fill the car up in the morning again!

Cheats way to blog

2005-08-11T16:46:00.000+01:00

I got sent this in an email and thought I might as well post it here. Nothing to report - my car's ready to pick up tonight so fingers crossed all is ok with that. I'm very much looking forward to forgetting the whole thing! 50 Questions 1. First name? Emma 2. Were you named after anyone? I don't think so. Mum said she knew what I was going to be called when she was 7. She didn't want a son. 4. When did you last cry? A couple of weeks ago 5. Do you like your handwriting? No 6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Veggie no not applicable. I like cheese though :o) 7. What is your birth date? 11th July 1979 8. What is your most embarrassing CD? All the embarrassing CD's in our collection are mine, I think the worst is probably the Hamster Dance - it was in the Sale!! 9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I think so, although as I'm so quiet we probably wouldn't talk much. 10. Do you have a journal? I've got two blogs, but no written journal. I might start one if we get pregnant. 11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sometimes, but C really hates it so I've stopped doing it so much. 12. What are your nicknames? Most people call me Emma, a few call me Em and I've started signing Em to emails. C calls me 'ma' if he wants my attention. 13. Would you bungee jump? Probably, but I'd go on about it for ages first. 14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. 15. Do you think that you are strong? I'm not that physically strong. But I think I'm pretty emotionally strong. 16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Mint Choc Chip 17. Shoe Size? 6 18. Red or pink? Red 19. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My lack of self confidence 20. Who do you miss most? My best friend from primary school, who lives miles away. 21. What colour trousers and shoes are you wearing? brown stripy trousers and multi-coloured ballet style shoes. 22. What are you listening to right now? People talking in the office. 23. What was the last thing you ate? Cheese and biscuits for lunch 24. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Odd question... probably blue. 25. What is the weather like right now? Looks like its about to rain, it's warm but cold in the office. 26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. 27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I'm not sure. I don't really see men in that way from first meeting them. 28. Favourite Drink? Water - how boring 29. Favourite Sport? To watch or play, either way I've no idea. Not much of a sporty person. I like swimming though. 30. Hair Colour? Brown 31. Eye Colour? Green/Brown, depending on the light 32. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes, Glasses all the time. 33. Favourite Food? Pizza or Curry if going out. Pasta or couscous if eating in. 34. Last Movie You Watched? The first Harry Potter last night. 35. Favourite Day Of The Year? Christmas 36. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Both 37. Summer Or Winter? Summer 38. Hugs OR Kisses ? Depends who's offering 39. What Is Your Favourite Dessert? Chocolate fudge cake. 40. Living Arrangements? Own house with my husband C and our rabbit Holly. 41. What's On Your Mouse mat? Plain black with a gel wrist support. 42. What Did You Watch Last Night? Harry Potter. 43. Favourite Smells? Baking bread, cut grass, wood fires. 44. Favourite Sounds? Difficult one, I like the sound of the ocean and birds singing, water over rocks. Anything really. 45. Rolling Stones or Beatles? To be honest I'm a bit young for either... but probably Stones. 46. What's the farthest you've been from home? Singapore 47. Do you have a special talent? If I do I've not found it yet. 48. Do you wish on stars? Yes, if I remember I always wish on the first star I see at night. 49. In presents - size or quantity? oooh that's difficult... nice things come in small packages (like jewellery) 50. Pen or pencil? Usually pencil.

Windermere at Sunset

2005-08-09T10:33:00.000+01:00

One of the pictures from the weekend. It's a bit dark but I like this photo a lot. The boat was just going out for a sunset sail. I'd have loved to go with them.

Perfectly Relaxed

2005-08-08T16:12:00.000+01:00

We had the most wonderful weekend away. Working from home on Thursday was a fantastic idea. I got much more done than I would normally - due to the lack of interruptions. It also meant we could set off early - we aimed to be on the road at 4.30 - although it was nearer to 5 by the time we were ready. C searched the internet and found us a good hotel for Thursday nights, and we got booked into one we'd always liked the look of for Friday in Ambleside. It was a bit trickier for Keswick on Saturday but we were pretty sure we'd find somewhere. - there are hundreds of B & B's there. The drive up was long but nice, and the hotel when we got there fantastic - we had some wonderful food in the bar and a walk around the town before heading to bed. On Friday we got up fairly early and drove around villages that we'd not visited before and went to the sea side - always a favourite with me. The room on Friday night had a whirlpool bath - which was bliss and C and I made full use of it before going out for the evening. We went ringing at Windermere and had a wonderful Tapas meal there. Watching the sun set over the lake with an ice-cream was perfect! Saturday was C's birthday so he opened all his presents before breakfast - very exciting. Afterwards we went for a long walk around the shops in Ambleside before driving to Keswick on a hotel hunt. We drove around a sea of "No Vacancies" signs before finding a hotel with a view of Skiddaw with one room left. It was a twin room but the beds were pushable so we did ok. We spent all Saturday afternoon wandering round Keswick spending C's birthday money - mapping software and a jumper. On Sunday we went ringing at nearby Crossthwaite church after breakfast as normal - they know us there now! After that we found a nice easy climb - 1500 ft but the car-park was half way up which made it about 500 ft - under an hours walk to the top and back. We got lots of photos of the weekend which I will try to sort and post during the week. I've come back to work very relaxed and happy. Although I'm convinced I'm not pregnant... is it too soon to tell? and when can I take a test? It's two weeks till my period and I cant wait that long!

Feeling awful

2005-08-02T11:14:00.000+01:00

It's strange how my mind works... I feel ill today, nauseous and dizzy. I know I can't be pregnant - we've made love twice without protection last Saturday (which I'm sure is to near to start feeling ill) and once the day before my period started (which can't possibly have got me pregnant - can it?!). I think it's probably more to do with my vitamins. I've been taking it as instructed with my main meal. Although when we eat out I tend to forget to take it. Since we're properly trying now I decided to start taking it in the morning with my breakfast. Today's the first day I've tried it and the first day I feel ill. It can't be a coincidence. Or there's also the Feta possibility... I've had some in the fridge for a little while (possible a week) and tried a small bit last night, it was definitely past it's best. It's funny the way my mind jumped straight to the thought I MUST be pregnant. As though I'd never felt poorly before! Even stranger I told two people at work I was feeling a bit off and they thought I must be pregnant - even though they have no idea that we're trying :o)

Update

2005-08-01T16:33:00.000+01:00

This is the first month that we'll be trying, the plan is to not put any pressure on ourselves and just make love when we want to (that's C's plan anyway - I'm keeping a careful track and am going to make sure we want to a lot this week!). C's away tonight and tomorrow night, I'm not too fussed as him being away for a while as we'll be together for the rest of the week - and we're away Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights in the Lake District. I'm sure we'll have lots of chances to be in the mood. I made a huge mistake and read the last chapter of my guide to a vegetarian pregnancy book last night - lots of stuff on the birth. I think I'll not read any more on that till its too late to change my mind. It's all far too daunting. The one complaint I do have is that everything I read (including my veggie book) is about the American way of doing things, I'm aware things are different over here, I've just got no idea how. Hopefully my doctor will be able to fill me in on some of this stuff - or at least recommend a UK based book to read.

Working lots

2005-07-27T11:40:00.000+01:00

Work's been busy this week. I'm going to one of our southern offices tomorrow so I've been trying to fit a weeks worth of work into three days, and not really succeeding. I'm not really looking forward to it, we're setting off tomorrow morning at 6.00 driving for about 4 hours and then doing a full day at work, not fun. I'm not sure what time we'll get back on Friday so I'm half planning to stay at Mum and Dads again that night. Which means three nights away from C. He's away for two of them as well so it's not too bad - had to arrange bunny sitters though! They were planning to send me away on a training course next week as well. I've managed to put that off for a couple of weeks though as we're going to the Lake District for C's birthday. Hopefully setting of Thursday night. Also after speaking to Kristin next week's the best time to start trying - from Tuesday onwards. I'm really pleased I've got her to ask about this stuff because I don't have a clue, I have read some stuff... but not made much sense of it! We're hoping to conceive in the Lakes, although we're definitely not naming our child after where it was conceived. One of the places we're hoping to visit is Boot - and that would just be mean! I will keep a look out for suitable names though, something a little nicer than that.

ugh, I want to go back on the pill

2005-07-21T10:33:00.000+01:00

I'm suffering the worst PMS, just feel like I've been sucked into a black hole. Close to tears all the time and just feel terrible. I really can't wait for my period to start. I've been eating chocolate raisins all morning in the hope that chocolate will help, it hasn't and now I've run out. I am playing squash at lunch time though - which may help get something going. C's away (of course) and last night he rang to tell me he'd made a slight detour and was stopping at one of my favourite places in the world - which didn't help! Was almost crying when I got off the phone with him. Works a pain, I'm struggling with something at the moment and the stress of that isn't making this any easier. I just need a hug, and I'm not seeing anyone who'll be able to give me one till Saturday morning at the earliest. Anyway, whinge over. I need to find something to write about other than the fact I'm upset that C isn't here! What can I write about?

The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free

2005-07-20T11:24:00.000+01:00

I normally wouldn't pass this sort of thing on, but it takes so little time and it's for such a good cause I can't help but. "The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free"

First Anniversary

2005-07-19T11:57:00.000+01:00

We didn't do much on the day of our first anniversary (Sunday), our house warming was the day before so we had lots of cleaning up to do. The weather was fantastic both days so the BBQ went really well - partying well into the night! Luckily our neighbours both sides came to the party. I'm not sure if it feels like a year since we got married, in some ways it seems longer. We've moved now, C's business has taken off so he's away a lot. Things have changed, mostly in a good way! I still love C as much now as I did when we got married, in fact things are better than the months before the wedding - but I'm putting that down to stress. He's still the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. We enjoy mostly the same things, nights out with friends or nights in with DVD's, walking, climbing hills, The Lake District (a big love for both of us!). We have separate interests as well; I'll never be as big a music snob as he is and he'll never want to get involved in scrap booking. But I think that adds to the relationship, it's nice to have things separate from each other - some time to enjoy things alone. He gives me everything I want. I'm completely spoilt. Which is good, and bad at the same time I guess. He didn't want to move, but did it for me, he bought me an iPod, helped me buy my Camera, allowed me to have Rabbits, and the biggest one, he's agreed to try for a baby. I think he needs to draw a line in the sand somewhere - otherwise I'll not stop wanting more stuff!

London one week on

2005-07-14T12:06:00.000+01:00

Our company has just taken part in the two minute silence. I always feel emotional during these times but seeing the images of Kingscross, Edgware, and London at a standstill. Silent and respectful... it's all too much.

Me at the beach

2005-07-13T19:40:00.000+01:00

This is a photo from Monday of me wading in the sea. I like this picture as you can't see my face!

We’re not Afraid!

2005-07-12T16:04:00.000+01:00

An answer to the bombings on Thursday. This to me is completely the British spirit in action: We’re not Afraid!

Wonderful Weekend

2005-07-12T15:09:00.000+01:00

We had the most perfect weekend. The wedding on Saturday was wonderful - very, very informal though. The ceremony itself lasted less than 20 minutes! I didn't know you could get married that quickly. We spoke to them afterwards and they said the ceremony itself wasn't the main thing - it was the party afterwards that counted. Also the room was small and very hot - any longer and people would have been passing out! The wedding was at a wonderful country hall in Leicestershire. The grounds were large and there was a pond with newts in (which kept my cousins daughter amused for hours!). C and I ended the night arguing (about nothing really) but we made up in the hotel and things were fine the next day. On Sunday we went for a walk near a local canal and saw lots of boats and dragonflies. It was far too warm to walk far so we stopped in a local pub to freshen up before heading home. It was my Birthday yesterday, I'd booked the day off work and managed to persuade C to re-arrange a meeting to be with me. We had a fantastic day, the morning we spent in town doing boring things like paying money into banks and setting up a new business account (for C's business). In the afternoon we went to http://www.spurnpoint.com/thumb16.htm, which was beautiful. I've never been before and always wanted to go. We took the car down to almost the tip and just had a little walk round, next time I think we'll park at the top and walk all the way round. I've got some lovely photo's to upload when I get time, not for a while. Feeling a bit low today, think it's back to work blues - hopefully they'll go tomorrow! Although C is away again this week, Weds and Thurs nights. Not as bad as last week but not exactly ideal!

The weekend

2005-07-08T17:16:00.000+01:00

Is finally here, thank goodness. Only 20 minutes more at work and we're free. We're going to a family wedding tomorrow so we're travelling down tonight. C is meeting us at Grandma and Grandads and we're going from there in the morning (they're dog sitting for the weekend - other side of the family!). I'm really looking forward to the wedding, It'll be good to see all the family again, and weddings are always fun. I've got Monday off work as it's my Birthday - I refuse to work on my Birthday. Everyone says that'll wear off soon! Hopefully C will have the day off as well so we can go out and about, I'm not too sure where I fancy going yet though. I might make him take me shopping (fate worse than death surely!). He's working away again next week (weds to fri) and probably the week after (wed - fri again). I'm pleased he's working but I worry about him being away. Especially with what happened in London yesterday. He seems to go to mainly out of the way places though - not any major targets. In other news, I found a wonderful site today with bad baby names on (that's bad names, not names for bad babies!). I've spent a while looking through and laughing (the comments really make it). Unfortunately one of the names I like was on there, C didn't like it though so it probably wouldn't have made it to final negotiations.

Unbelievable

2005-07-07T13:25:00.000+01:00

BBC NEWS | UK The shock that I've felt about this is unbelievable. I've been close to tears several times today. And yet no-one I know personally is involved in the tragedy. All the people I know in London today have been accounted for and weren't near the areas. The news just keeps coming and coming. Tony Blair has had to leave the G8 summit to come to London. He gave another fantastic speech from Gleneagles (something he's always been good at). It's just unbelievable. There are no words.

Feeling blue

2005-07-06T11:49:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure why but this time C being away has really affected me. Normally I get on ok without him, but last night I was holding back tears speaking to him on the phone, he didn't notice luckily as I'd hate for him to feel bad for leaving me. I don't know if it's because he's away longer this time, not back till Friday night, or if it's beacuse we didn't spend long together last weekend. With the wedding this weekend we'll not get long together then either! We're staying at Grandma's on Friday night, so no time to be together and talk then. The wedding wont finish till late on Saturday night, so family all around us all day. And then Sunday we'll be spending with Mum and Dad as well. My birthday is on Monday and I've taken the day off work, unfortunately C has a meeting miles away... all in all I'm missing him a lot! Things will get better though, and I'm so happy that he's busy. Last year wasn't easy with him not working much. Now he's got work (and the money that goes with it) it's fantastic.

Moody

2005-07-04T14:33:00.000+01:00

I've had an ok weekend, but I've been incredibly moody. I don't know if it's just me being crabby or an effect of not taking the pill. I was supposed to start on Friday. C's away again this week... he left this morning at 5. That's probably got something to do with it too. We spent all weekend at the tower with everyone as it was the civic society open weekend. Which meant I didn't get to spend any time with him just the two of us. We stupidly arranged to go to Mum and Dad's on Saturday night (which was great - but it would have been much better to spend it alone). I'm feeling a bit happier now - apart from having to go home to an empty house of course! I'm planning to re-design this blog as the grey is beginning to get me down, I think a nice sunny colour might help my mood - you never know! I've ordered the veggie pregnancy book and also a book written for men whose partners are pregnant - for C obviously. We're still on track for trying next month and I've started taking the vitamins (which are HUGE), given up caffeine and reduced my alcohol consumption (which was never big anyway). I'm also trying to steer clear of secondary smoke - which I've always hated but now have an excuse. Not that we've told anyone else that we're going to start trying - so far me, C and any number of internet strangers are the only people who know!

I'm starting to dislike my car

2005-07-01T10:14:00.000+01:00

Yesterday when driving back to work from lunch my car turned off while I was driving it... again. The last time was 2 months ago, almost to the day I think. I had to pay to get it towed to my garage (£23 - not too much but it's the principal of the thing!) and get a lift home from work. Luckily one of the guys I car share with decided to come in alone yesterday so we could get a lift home. Normally there would have been three of us stranded 20 miles from home. So the car's in the garage and I'm waiting for a call to see how much it's going to cost me this time. It'd be nice if it was the same problem so they'd fix it under warrantee but I can pretty much guarantee that it's not. It'll end up costing around £400... that's just an Emma estimate - I've not heard from them yet! I'm going to look at new cars on Saturday - my Grandad has offered to help me buy one, and this time there's no more excuses. In other news Holly seems to be feeling much better, she had a run around last night. Which is fantastic considering she could only shuffle on Wednesday night. Fingers crossed it'll not happen again! Also today is the first day of my cycle - I think. Which means I'll start taking the vitamins tonight... hopefully I'll be able to track this one and work out the best time to try for a baby next month!

More bad news

2005-06-29T21:35:00.000+01:00

Holly's ill. Very ill. I'm at home on my own, Chris is working so I can't contact him... so I thought I'd blog in the hope that telling someone my troubles will make them go away. Don't think that works with poorly rabbits though. She seems to be having trouble walking the whole time I was in there she didn't move at all - normally she'd run away from me. Or if she was feeling friendly come up to see if I had any food. She let me pick her up and her whole rear end was covered in droppings, which means she's not cleaning herself. I don't know what to do. I've googled the local vet, if she's still with us in the morning I'll take time off work and get her there. The trouble is I know how much she hates being handled - so that'll just be more stress for her. I honestly don't think she's going to make it.

Getting scared...

2005-06-28T11:47:00.000+01:00

We bought Pregnacare on Sunday, a three month supply. C found the tablets, helped me choose and laughed at me as I was so nervous. These are the only ones suitable for vegetarians, I was considering taking fish oil supplements but these say they're all that are needed. Which is a huge weight off my mind. I've also found a book on Amazon called Your Vegetarian Pregnancy: A Month-by-month Guide to Health and Nutrition which I'm planning to get. I'll probably order it now with the Harry Potter book and get them when it comes out. The revised plan is: start taking tablets after this period (probably Friday), then start trying in August... it's all very exciting. Although I'm very, very nervous!

Bad news

2005-06-27T11:36:00.000+01:00

Hazel died on Thursday night. We've no idea why. C's mum says it's something that can happen to pet shop rabbits - apparently they're bred from a Doe too young and generally not given the best start in life. Holly is not taking it well at all. She was always the nervous one but now she runs as soon as we open the door. This morning was the first time she wasn't shaking with fear when I stroked her. We're Hopeful that she'll be ok, but we don't know. We're also thinking about getting some company for her - this time an older rabbit from the RSPCA.

One pill left

2005-06-22T17:13:00.000+01:00

C and I had a long talk at the weekend about our future in general and babies in particular. His business is going really well at the moment and it looks like that's set to continue for at least next year (fingers VERY crossed there!). I'm settled in my job, and as I've been here over 4 years now I'm entitled to full maternity leave. We also know they're pretty accommodating about me working from home - and other mothers work part time. So, unless I freak out, we're on the road to start trying for a baby... I'm on the pill at the moment with one pill left to take in this packet. After that, that's it... I'm going to have a month off (July), then a month taking folic acid (August), then we're going to start trying... who knows maybe this time next year we'll have a baby! I'm so scared by this, I know it's been me pushing for it (no pun intended) since before we got married but now the time is nearly here... I'm petrified. So I may very well change my mind before we actually get down to the trying stage... or something may happen in our lives that makes it impossible... or we may not be able to!! There's many a slip twixt cup and lip... and all that.

Wonderful weekend

2005-06-21T15:15:00.000+01:00

I forgot how nice it is to spend a weekend doing nothing! C left at 8.30, and as I needed to run him into town I was up early too. The weather was so warm I just didn't want to be inside so I spent most of the day laying out on the lawn reading and watching the bunnies (I bought them a run). It was blissful. I spent most of Sunday doing the same! I'm not sure if I've mentioned about ringing? C and I are both bell ringers at our local church - so quite a bit of our Sunday's are spent with our friends - which is nice. The service starts at 11.00 so we ring from 10.15 to 11 and then go over the road to have breakfast together. We also ring for even song 5.45 - 6.30 and then over the road again for a few drinks. It's great fun, but does mean we spend rather too long in the pub! C and I had a good night on Friday, we didn't get really drunk, and we didn't fight. But everything seems ok now. Maybe we needed the time away from each other! His job in Ireland was postponed so he was home Sunday and last night. He left for Wales first thing this morning. I'll miss him, but it'll make me appreciate him all the more when he's back. (in theory!).

also

2005-06-17T17:30:00.000+01:00

Don't get me started on Aung San Suu Kyi!! BBC NEWS | UK | Free Suu Kyi, Straw urges Burma

Part of something big

2005-06-17T17:21:00.000+01:00

In this day and age everyone assumes the press is fair and un-biased and everyone has an equal chance to get their point across. The website liberte de la presse however shows us that this is not always the case. They have recently awarded their own awards to bloggers who are defending their freedom of expression. Something we in the UK and US take for granted... at the moment. Reporters sans frontières - Blog awards 2005 results I read recently in the news about Chinese blogs being blocked by the government, and most worryingly Microsoft Microsoft censors Chinese blogs. Also how Chinese bloggers are being made to get licenses - although I can't find a link to that story. Also in the news today is a story about Mukhtar Mai, an incredible Pakistani woman who was gang raped on the orders of a rural council as a punishment for something her brother did. She's raised vast amounts of money for local projects including schools. Now she is being denied a visa to visit the US and her passport has been taken away. - Pakistani officials are denying this... read the story here. I cannot believe things like this are still being allowed to happen. It makes my blood boil. I am grateful to the internet for allowing us to find this information out - and for living in the UK where the press coverage usually seems to be unbiased and fair. I am aware that there's a lot of stuff going on in the world we will never know about though. I will always be glad I don't live behind the Great Firewall of China.

Argumentative

2005-06-17T14:52:00.000+01:00

C's been in a funny mood the last few days. It seems like he's annoyed with me for something but whenever I ask what he says he's fine and there's nothing wrong. It might be true, he may be just tired and crabby. But usually when he gets like this there's something that's the root of it. I'm not sure whether to let him go away feeling like this and hope he comes back in a better mood or goad him into having a fight which will clear the air. Then at least we can make up before he goes and he wont be grumpy while he's away. Usually when he gets like this we end up having a drunken conversation at 2 in the morning... but we haven't got time for that this time. We're not planning on going out tonight and don't have any alcohol in the house. Maybe that's what we need... I might tell him to forget the plans and we can go for a few drinks at our new local pub - which we've not been in yet! Then we can have a drunken talk (or argument) and all will be well before he goes away. It might be a good idea to clear the air before he goes away on a stag weekend... don't know what he'll get up to otherwise!

Some photo's of the house

2005-06-15T10:09:00.000+01:00

Front
Originally uploaded by quotidian1.

- at last!

I've finally got round to uploading some photos. These were all taken by the Estate Agent and are from the brochure. The house is still on their site listed as under offer!

You can view all the pictures at the house on flickr

Lonesome

2005-06-14T17:27:00.000+01:00

C just emailed me to let me know he's got some more work lined up next week. He's going to be in Ireland Sunday and Monday nights and then Wales will Thursday. On top of that he's on a Stag night on Saturday. I'm going to miss him loads when he's away. I always do. It starts off me thinking I'll get a chance to get stuff done round the house, photo's sorted and my blog template changed and ends up with me sitting on the sofa eating ice cream and watching rubbish. I don't seem to have any self motivation when he's not here!

Settled in

2005-06-13T12:35:00.000+01:00

We had a great weekend with the Rabbits, the hutch is in the garage, which has large windows all the way down one side so it's light during the day. It's "double length" although you could easily fit three small cars in there. We decided that since we haven't bought a run for the lawn yet we'd let the bunnies out to explore the garage, there's nothing sharp on the floor and one end is filled with cardboard boxes - left over from the move. They had a great time exploring and running about. I guess they've never been able to run so far before. We're trying to catch them occasionally and let them go again so they don't learn to avoid us. Hazel is definitely the boldest of the two, she was the one that found out she could jump back into the hutch for some food and then out again. She also doesn't mind being held too much, I was holding and stroking her last night and she almost fell asleep! Holly is a little more cautious, she doesn't like being held at all, although she'll put up with it, she doesn't mind being stroked when she's in the cage and she'll very happily take leaves from us. When we open the cage door now they both crowd round trying to get out! I've got a few good pictures, although most of the ones of Hazel are blurred as she's always moving! I'll try to sort them out tonight or tomorrow and get them posted.

Introducing...

2005-06-11T13:39:00.000+01:00

Hazel and Holly. We picked them up this morning with a car full of straw, hay, sawdust, food, etc. Hazel is definitely the boldest of the two - for a while we considered calling her Bold. They both are ok with being stroked and don't mind being picked up too much. When we first put them in the hutch they hid whenever we came near them, but after we put a handful of grass and dandelion leaves in they come too see if we've got any more treats!

Lots of names to consider!

2005-06-10T09:46:00.000+01:00

Thanks guys, all of those are really good suggestions and have certainly got me thinking. I really love Harvey as a name for a Rabbit, but unfortunately it's my maiden name, so that could be weird - for my parents and grandparents when they visit! I hadn't even thought of Watership Down names. There are some really good ones, I particularly like Hazel and Holly, both of which would be good for boy or girl. Fiver and Pipkin are pretty nice too - and a bit more recognisable as Watership Down names. Nicole - Hi, I've just visited your site and can't seem to find an email to say hi personally, I'll take another look later. I like the Beatrix Potter names, specially as she comes from The Lake District which is my very favourite place in the UK, actually maybe Beatrix and Potter would be good names! I also like the seven dwarves names as that means I'll have to get to know their personalities before I name them. I've got some really good suggestions from here... I'll post a pic and let you know which I went with on Monday!

Names

2005-06-09T11:04:00.000+01:00

I've never been good at picking names for my pets. My first pet, a goldfish, was imaginatively called Goldy". I think I had several Goldies and even a Silver before my parents thought I was ready to take responsibility for a larger pet. We started off with a Rabbit and a Guinea Pig. I wanted to call the rabbit Powder Puff, which they weren't happy about. But at the pet shop the only ones they had were black, so that was definitely off. He ended up being called Dandy, after the Dandelions he loved to eat. The Guinea Pig was called Ginger, you can imagine what colour he was! When I was 13 we got a dog, I was told to make a list of names before she arrived so we would have a pick of at least some good ones. She ended up being called Kesty, for no particular reason, I guess she was lucky to miss Blacky :o). My last pet was a Hamster, she was unnamed for several days as C and I couldn't think of anything to call her, in the end we settled on Stupid, because she was. Everyone loved the name and joked that our kids would be called Noisy" and Smelly I said they'd be lucky if they got called anything other than Baby! Now I've got two Rabbits coming on Saturday and I really can't think of any names, I'm not sure I want matching names, although Dum and Dee might be cool. I don't know whether they're boys or girls yet, so I need to pick four names for them! Again C's said I've got to pick the names before I get them - otherwise they'll end up being called "bunny", both of them. Has anyone got any suggestions? I'm really stuck here. All I can think of is Bugs, and that just seems a bit of a cop-out really!

Auto-complete

2005-06-09T10:39:00.000+01:00

I sometimes feel like my fingers have auto-complete when I'm typing. I'll start typing one word and when I look I've typed something completely different. Just writing that I put "types" instead of "typed" - it seems to be words I use most often take precedence. In an email I've just sent I wrote "client" instead of "clicked" and "ming" instead of "mind". Is this normal of am I completely mad! There are hundreds of other examples I just can't think of any at the moment.

Makeup

2005-06-08T17:19:00.000+01:00

I just went to the rest rooms at work and there was a girl in there (our receptionist) re-doing her makeup before she went home. I've seen her in there quite often, at several different times of the day. I can't understand makeup, I've never really worn it. If we're going out for an extra special night out I'll put on some powder, possibly eye shadow and some clear lipstick; other than that I wear nothing. I've not worn makeup since well before we moved, in fact I don't know where it is. I once travelled on a train from London to my home city - about a two hour train journey. Across the way from me there was a young girl and twice during the trip she completely re-applied her makeup - she didn't even leave her seat and there were no men around to impress so I've no idea why. I wonder why makeup is such a big thing for women, and why most men feel they don't have to wear it. I work in a male dominated environment, when I was at college and university I was one of very, very few girls there (none in college and one in uni), I wonder if this is why I have a more "male" attitude to makeup. My Mum's always been really into makeup, she despairs of me... The lady who did my makeup for the wedding was surprised as well. I don't see why it's so strange.

Bunnies!

2005-06-06T17:26:00.000+01:00

Our house is no where near finished, we've got a list of jobs a mile long, any free time should be spent improving the house... and yet we spent all Sunday afternoon in the garage making a rabbit hutch. I've wanted to get rabbits since well before we moved in, we nipped into a pet shop on Sunday and there were some gorgeous ones there, trouble was we thought the hutches were far to small for them. So they arrive on Saturday, assuming the hutch is finished! I will definitely be posting pics when they get here. I'm SO excited about it. The hutch is huge though! I'm so impressed with C, I wouldn't have a clue how to build one but he just did it! It's even got a nice snug room for their bedroom, I sometimes think he's soppier than me! Click here for some similar bunnies

A little bit of Friday Fun

2005-06-03T15:35:00.000+01:00

There seems to be a lot of heavy stuff going on in the blog-o-sphere at the moment so I thought I'd link to this. It's a bit, un-work safe, but very funny, juvenile fun! B3TA : FEATURES : PHALLIC LOGO AWARDS

America scares me

2005-06-02T10:33:00.000+01:00

I read Cecily's blog today. It's something everyone in the world should read... the documents she links to are the reason so many people hate America. I was horrified by this document, it genuinely scares me. I believe that if the internet was around in it's current state when Hitler was in power these are the sort of reviews he would be getting (although this document wouldn't be allowed to be published at that time - at least freedom of the press is still there). They talk about "death penalty for a host of “moral crimes,” including apostasy, blasphemy, sodomy, and witchcraft." which I'm pretty sure sum up his whole philosophy. It's a very short step from saying that to saying anyone who doesn't believe their version of Christianity is a "blasphemer" and should be killed. Who is right to say what's moral? Who can judge that?! I cannot believe that these people are allowed to go on public television and preach their hatred. Another comment that stuck out to me was "Wright promises the audience that as the new president of NRB he will fight to block the passage of hate-crime legislation, something many Christian broadcasters fear might be used to halt their attacks on gays and lesbians". To me that looks like they know what they're doing is wrong and hateful, and still want to do it! This version of Christianity and Jesus just doesn't fit in with anything I've read or been taught - or feel. This is old testament stuff, and very much goes against Jesus' teaching of Love yourself and Love each other. I can genuinely say I never want to visit a country whose leaders have these views. Just as I wouldn't have wanted to visit Afghanistan under the Taliban. (While saying this I realise there are many, many Christian Americans and un-Christian Americans who do not share these views, and they're ok with me :o) )

Links

2005-06-01T14:22:00.000+01:00

I was looking at my list of links and thinking about putting them into categories. To begin with I thought Parents, Pregnant, Infertile and Others would be a good way to break the list up. Then when I actually started going through it I just couldn't. No one on the list blogs exclusively about one thing (possibly with the exception of Dot Moms!). Kristin for example, is a mother of two, is pregnant and has dealt with infertility, and she also blogs about other stuff as well. I'd really hate to pigeon hole anyone. There are also several women out there with very early pregnancies, I'd hate to put them into "pregnant" and them lose it, I'd feel like it was my fault for jumping the gun... So to keep the evil eye off everyone involved the long list stays - and hopefully gets added to soon! Now I have broadband at home there's nothing stopping me following links to my hearts content.

Long time without updates!

2005-05-31T16:29:00.000+01:00

I was away from work on Thursday and Friday last week. I woke up Thursday morning and just couldn't summon the energy to get out of bed. I couldn't face work so I called in sick and pretty much stayed in bed. Although I did manage to get downstairs for a little day-time tv. My Mum thinks I've worn myself out with stress about the move and then working on the house when I get home from work. She's probably right - although the dieting I've been trying to do recently probably haven't helped either. I've decided to continue going to the gym twice a week but eat a little more sensibly during the day. I'm burning up enough energy to eat properly. I managed to get some rest over the weekend, although most of yesterday was spent either stripping wallpaper, scrubbing walls, weeding or mowing the lawn. I think we're getting somewhere with the garden - it just needs the lawn to be a little less... brown.

The baby conversation

2005-05-25T14:10:00.000+01:00

C and I had the baby conversation again last night. About when's the right time to start trying for a baby. I want to start trying in September this year, then if we do get lucky the baby will be a spring or summer baby - which I'd prefer. He still thinks we should get further on with the house - at least get the extension done so we wont have as many boxes - the room that will be the nursery is stacked full of boxes of books and videos at the moment! I see the sense in this, but I'm nearing the end of my last packet of pills, and I've really been putting off getting anymore. I suppose seeing the doctor would be a good excuse to talk about pregnancy, any considerations I'd need and what the facilities are like in the city I live in.

Family help

2005-05-23T16:05:00.000+01:00

We're getting on fairly well with the house now. The fireplace is almost to a stage where we can point it (something C insists is easy although I'm not so sure!). The hall is stripped to where I can reach - so this week I'm going to have to stand on something and do the rest. It's a bank holiday Monday for us next week, unfortunately we wont be able to do much as Saturday and Sunday are booked up, however my parents have volunteered to come on the Monday and help us decorate the hall. I've a lot of work to do before we get to that stage though. All that I've stripped needs to be washed down to get rid of bits of glue that are left on. I think we're going to have to put lining paper up before we can paint as well - which will be a huge job in the hallway. It will be nice to get one room done though. Then I'll feel like we're getting somewhere. The garden is still a bit of a disaster zone, my tubs are sprouting and I've bought a few more plants in containers so that's good. However we decided to put some feed and weed killer on the lawn... now it's mostly black - turns out it was more weeds than lawn! We've got some restorer which should re-seed it. trouble is we've got to get all the black out first. It's all good fun though, and making sure we go to bed tired at the end of the day!

Magazines

2005-05-18T17:10:00.000+01:00

What did we do before magazines? Since we've moved I've bought or been given so many house and home or garden magazines I just don't know what to do with them all. I need to start picking a theme for the house - or individual rooms and I'm not entirely sure where to start. I'm pretty sure what I want in the kitchen, but as for the rest of the house?! My mum's suggested creating a scrapbook of designs and colours I like, with a page or two for each room. I like the idea but I'm not that comfortable cutting up magazines, in the end I guess I'll have to go for it... we're getting nowhere fast at the moment!

3 years

2005-05-17T16:33:00.000+01:00

My wonderful husband and I have been together for 3 years as of yesterday. It seems like a lot longer, but in a good way. We met at church, which is strange as I'm not a church goer. I'd just moved into a new flat, I decided to visit the local church to pray for an uncle who was very ill at the time. After the service everyone gathered for cups of tea (very Church of England!). The person who sat next to me at church introduced me to C, I didn't know anyone there and everyone was really kind. C started talking to me about this thing called "bell ringing" I'd never heard, or thought about it before. He told me that they were currently re-hanging the bells at the church, the reason he was at the service was to give the vicar an update. He took me up the tower (something I still joke about today) and showed me everything, he tried to persuade me to come along to the other church they rang at and give it a go. I said not this week, but I promised to think about it and attend church the following week. At the time I was seeing someone who wasn't right for me, at all. Looking back he was emotionally abusing me and sending me a little crazy. He was my first love, which meant I was very, very naive when coping with him. We now think he may be a very confused gay man, or maybe he's just a complete bastard. Anyway I went to church the next week, agreed to try ringing - a huge thing for me as I was hugely shy and it meant introducing myself to a huge group of people and putting myself into a situation where I could have made a complete fool of myself! Everything went well and C taught me to ring, it takes a long time, months, to do it properly. A few weeks after I'd started ringing we were talking in the pub and realised that he worked with one of my friends, we exchanged email addresses and said we'd try to wind her up a little as she was coming to my house the following day. He emailed me a few jokes the next day but we didn't really talk, somehow he'd got hold of my mobile number (I think all the ringers were planning to go out at the weekend and he was arranging it). Anyway after K, my friend, had left I got ready for bed, then he texted asking how the evening had gone, saying he was just about to start walking home. I said I'd not been drinking and would give him a lift if he wanted - he lived miles out of town. I think I must have wanted to see him. Anyway he said he'd come over so I quickly got dressed again! We talked for hours on the sofa, nearly touching but not quite. Then, somehow, he started playing with my hand while we talked. Applying pressure, squeezing and stroking it. Which ended up with us kissing, it was the most amazing night of my life. Truly. For many reasons I didn't want to sleep with him that night, so we compromised and he kept his trousers on :o) The next morning we were both so tired, but it was a Thursday so we had to get up early, he had to make his way home and I had to attempt to stay awake at work all day! I didn't see him until the following Sunday, although we emailed a lot during that time - emails I still have and occasionally read through. I broke up with my boyfriend, P, once I'd managed to pin him down and actually see him (things were bad). And we've been together ever since. He's the most amazing man in the world, I honestly can't imagine what my life would be like without him. Everyone likes him as he has a wonderful ability to talk to anyone - which is strange to someone as shy as me! I've decided to attach part of an email that took my breath away, this was just before I'd finished with P. I've edited it a little to remove incriminating info :o) "Find you great company, great to talk to, funny, sexy, totally gorgeous, amorous, and individualistic. I certainly don't think that you are crazy or unreasonable, but it is easy to be confused in your mind, especially if someone is playing mind games with you which is what is appears P is doing. For my part I would adore to be able to spend lots of time with you, explore your world, introduce you to mine (scary), curl up on the sofa watching a film with a bottle of wine, kiss you till you go breathless, hug you, walking down the river front, driving to the lakes, walking on the beach, going to the pub, visiting friends, going to the theatre, going to parties (yeah!), basically being with you. You've not dragged me into anything that I wasn't aware of, you have been totally honest with me which is great. Big, big hugs C" You can see why I love him so much can't you!

Entertainer Extraordinaire

2005-05-16T14:41:00.000+01:00

I had a wonderful weekend. The BBQ went very well - it ended up with only six people coming which was much more manageable. I learnt lots - not too much veggie stuff, no quiche and lots of radishes in the salad. Important stuff to remember for the housewarming! The weather was a lot cooler by the time we got home from the shops so we decided to have the BBQ in the garage, which was great fun. We'd got coal from the shops but no firelighters or lighter fluid... another thing to remember! The BBQ wouldn't light at all. At one point there were two of us wafting with torn up cardboard boxes (we've got loads of them!) while C attempted to get it going with a blowtorch... that's right we couldn't light a fire with a blowtorch! I was nearly crying I was laughing that hard. Eventually S went to the shops at the end of the street for some lighter fluid and we got it going. Being a veggie I had a separate BBQ, one of the disposable ones. It started with one match with no fuss at all, although they didn't light it till the main one was well under way so I didn't get to eat till pretty late. After we'd eaten far too much we sat in the garage enjoying the heat from the two glowing fires, wonderful. Then someone noticed we had a fire extinguisher in there, it came with the house and we were pretty sure it wouldn't work... It seemed like a good idea at the time. Actually it didn't to me but everyone else thought it'd be great! They aimed, pushed the button... and nothing. J threw it on the floor where it suddenly burst into life spraying round the room (not cleared away at all with food and drinks out!). It hit me on the forehead, soaked my dog and got our neighbour on the legs before we got it under control and aimed it at the fire, which blew all the ash up into the air before settling over everyone and thing. The whole garage looked like a volcano had erupted! It was so funny (when we'd got dried off!). We moved inside to warm up for a bit but it wasn't a late night. I loved it, it's so nice to be able to entertain at our house. I'm so used to saying "sorry not enough room" to everyone - now there's no excuse! Really looking forward to the house warming. We've decided on 16th July, it'll give us plenty of time to get the house in a bit better shape + it's the day before our 1st wedding anniversary. We're going for an all day BBQ, so we'll need lots and lots of beer and charcoal, and fire lighters.

Me and my iPod

2005-05-13T16:05:00.000+01:00

I've got an iPod, after literally years of wanting one. It's an iPod photo and I think it's perfect. Unfortunately with the moving and everything I've not had much of a chance to fill it with songs and photos. I put four of my own CDs on it the first night we got time to take a look at it and then Dad gave me about 80 more Cs worth - which is fantastic as there's loads of stuff on it I've not heard before but a lot of it hasn't got Band, Album or Song names - so impossible to find again; I need to try to get those this weekend. Last week I got a car charger, cassette adapter and case for it. So far I've not used much beyond the shuffle songs (which makes me wonder if I wouldn't have been better with the iPod shuffle!). However once I've got lots of my CDs in there with all the info I'll start using playlists and genre's a lot more. Hopefully I'll get a chance to put some photo's and more CDs on there tomorrow!